The Intimacy Pitfall, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to incredibly hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and well-being .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex like it is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for this website the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow internet with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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