The Sexuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries enormous meaning and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more typically, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex find out here Trap frequently rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in metropolitan locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not a fantastic read there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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